just hit restart.

14 November 2011 § Leave a comment

Today I hit the Restart button on my morning.

Sometimes I hear people say they wish they could do that, like in a video game, when everything is going wrong, and you just aren’t in your groove, so you hit start, scroll down one, and restart the level with a fresh chance, but more perspective than before. You know what not to do. Don’t run into the giant monster who’s trying to kill you. Don’t go left; go right instead. Answer your phone. Better yet, just be nicer this time around.

The only reason I didn’t smoke this morning was that I already felt dragged across the road. I ignored my alarm’s good intent to wake me up at 6 to go running. I slept for another hour and a half, and it all went downhill from there. By the time I got to school, and then to a computer, an old iMac (or here in Costa Rica, eMAc) with featured, even in their day, the worst keyboards in the history of computers (Apple didn’t get the keyboard right until the Macbook Pro: flat, simple keys, solid keyboard. No bullshit makes for more efficient typing. I love those. These, not so much.

I pecked away at my novel, a full three or four thousand words behind where I should be to finish by the 30th of November, and my characters were in Singapore, doing who knows what with who knows who. People walked by me, said hello, or asked to borrow my phone. An ex-roommate stopped by, and told me how good the food was at his new place. That my performance last Friday was awesome. A girl swhowed up and they dispersed. I felt like shit, so I walked home, and while crossing the somewhat busy road between the school and my host family’s house, I had the vague notion to step in front of one of the very fast moving buses. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Instead of getting a headchange when I got home, I told myself to run instead. That I could eat a little later, when I felt better. That spending the rest of the day in a haze would be a bad idea, especially considering the paper due tonight that I hadn’t yet started on (it’s a work in progress now). I lost my Spanish notebook (and the base information for said paper with it) this past weekend, which was dense, to say the least. Over before I’d realized it had begun. It attempted to murder my throat, and I’m fighting off sickness with water and oranges. Without the oranges.

Run. Run. Run. Get photos of the new graffiti under the bridge. Don’t fall in the manhole. Don’t Make sure to not kick the homeless guy sleeping on the sidewalk. Don’t get hit by a bus. My morning improved dramatically with a shower and a walk back to school. Someone invited me out daydrinking. Earlier, I might have. I hope your day gets better, though.

Do your homework, Sean. Get out of here. Finish your novel, work on your Spanish, and start on another piece. You’ll need it soon. Coffeeshops and slams await your sense of purpose, and there’s a studio out there that needs your skills at pushing faders. Go.


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