climb over this.
21 December 2011 § Leave a comment
she’s convincing enough to wait for.
I was too far ahead on the trail to Chirripo to head her, to fast to listen – but when I wasn’t, and when I did, I was happier than when I had my solitary way of quick pace and quietude. We spoke less when we walked, trading looks instead, to cherish forever – we knew we were writing our personal and together histories, because the night before, humiliating, prolific, learned from us things that we ourselves hadn’t known we were capable of discovering. True to her word, she swept her judgments aside to keep things the same with me, because we hadn’t finished evolving in that stage yet. But she didn’t get her way either; we just chose a different door to open.
And walk through, we did, twenty kilometers at a time, to the top of the nation at sunrise after the moonlit valley walk under the upside down Big Dipper, Polaris hiding under the mountainous horizon.
I was just following the stars. I didn’t want to be any less enduring without the need to reinvent light as reassurance, like the spotlightmoon is going to go out in the middle of the show.
We spoke of Middle Earth and Narnia and were reminded of the true definition of epic. Our journey was more than 20 kilometers to 3820 meters in the sky ‘ it was months, a semester of school where we learned more about ourselves than we ever did in the small and mercilessly hot classrooms for four hours at a time, sponging up Spanish like spilt beer.
Songs that reminded me of another time came up like virtual realities which sent me reeling or stumbling through the mess I was Before, and the choruses hit home like long night drives on icy highways in Alaska.
This is a new sort of Missing that I have for her. It feels good, like I did the right thing somehow , perhaps in meeting her, or in letting her go. It feels ‘healthy’ to some extent. But we will see each other again. There was truth enough in that tired conversation to glean, and eventually, hopefully soon, this longing will fade into a tolerant patience to pick up wherever we left off, ideas blazing from the east and headed west, at least until later in the day.