we are human since the beginning of civilization.

27 March 2012 § Leave a comment

“…but really I can’t wait to leave.”

Did I just say that? 

Earlier, to a casual friend I may or may not see again, my left ear pending infection. Both had been bothering me all day. 

We gathered in the humble home of many a post-yoga potlucks, one of the many events this expat community uses to support itself; it was a goodbye-party for a Canadian couple and their six-month-old, who looks at me often and pointedly, as if I were a prophet, or a frog, depending on how much spit is on her lips, or which direction her hair is storming at the time. 

I’d spent the day once again listening to stories of old Hollywood from Ed Gish, who says over and over again that he has no problems with privacy, what with being 83 and all, and having been around at the dawn of privacy statements (and television, for that matter), he sees no reason to heed them more now than before. “They can’t do anything to me,” he tells me, 20th Century Fire in his eyes still burning, “so fuck ’em.” 

We talk writing. A lot. He’s always got suggestions for me. I get defensive when someone challenges what I’ve written, and that’s how I know they’re helpful. He gets defensive when I offer mine. 

He goes with the flow. Always has. Mine I must create, or there is none. There are purposes within us which will never satiate us, so we must please them. It is in Our Best Interest to keep them happy, lest they sweep forth the mop of doom to start us once again, all the way back at the beginning. “In my next life, I want to be a…”

I’m supposed to be working on things. On pieces toward completion. For consideration. For submission. Pieces I’m not sure I’ll be able to write after I leave. They won’t be valid anymore. 

Today I was told that I’ll be homeless in a few days. To be fair, I’ll just be without the place I have now. I like this place. Being told that I have to move before the 1st made me want to pick up and go somewhere else. Somewhere else far away. The world is at my feet. Central America is at my fingertips. I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I have no place to go.

Correction: …that I have no place to Go. 

I’m learning about energy. I doubt I’ll ever stop. 

Sometimes I wish I was born a century earlier, or seven. Other times not at all. Right now I think I dropped in exactly when I should have. I like it here and now.

But we’ve got work to do. 


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