Sacrifice of summer, part v.

5 June 2013 § Leave a comment

26 April 2013

Dear Heeth,

My fifth annual pilgrimage to the remote fishing grounds on the far edge of the world ends and begins today. The two-prop plane just passed over Kenai your burial ground, and turned west. Snowy mountains as far as I can see, the northern arc of the Ring of Fire encircling me. It’s comforting that no matter how far away I run, some container will hold me.

No step is independent of the rest. 

I have taken many, and not always been conscious of my feet. I’ve found that when I continually shift my focus center, each step follows the last, no matter the terrain.

Twelve days ago I asked Heather to marry me. She said yes. Two days ago I embarked on what could be the most demanding work I’ve yet known. Both bear infinite possibilities and great consequence. I’m not sure I’m ready. But I feel more prepared than ever to embrace life. 

Thank you for showing me how to rest. My savasana winter, modeled by your eternal permafrost calm, taught me how to place my energy where it thrives, to attract what I want from life unabashed, and to respect the voice within. Or enough at least to know I need not always be commanded by it. 

The glacialwhite Alaska Range is flattening into the vast expanse of southwestern Alaska. North, the Yukon-Kuskokwim Delta. South, Bristol Bay, home of my abundance. East, my past, quieted by invisible propellors and my focus on the west, possibility and wonder, love and adventure.

These frozen rivers will soon break, and flow through me, the wide open countryside they quench is space which holds me close, dearly watches me play. it reminds me to step carefully, to move consciously, for my body is a growing temple, always just strong enough for my journey. 

Thank you, brother, for doing what seemed most right, for inspiring and teaching me, in your backward way, how to live. So much love. So much.



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